Sharon Gul. Yumiko Aoyagi. Crest City. Jasmine ltd. FYI, they are racists.

This is the type of racist shit that I have to deal with as an African woman in the entertainment industry. For some backstory, I have recently decided to focus more on the writing end of tv and film, so have been looking for opportunities. I answered an ad looking for tv writers, so I submitted a résumé and cover letter. Sharon Gul of Crest City TV responded and cc’ed someone named “y aoyagi”. Anyway, he was polite enough at first, we had a video chat and they asked me to submit a series treatment for the BBC show Thirteen, which they were supposedly working on a 10 episode Japanese adaptation for, and they were looking for staff writers with a high level of English.

This is where it gets weird. So usually, if you send in a job application for anything, if they are not interested, one of 2 things occur. If they are polite, they send you a personal rejection email of a couple sentences. If they are not polite or don’t have time, they don’t respond at all. In this instance, however, not only did Yumiko Aoyagi write back to say she didn’t like the treatment and it was too long, she insulted my experience and asked me to redo it and resubmit?!

I was really confused by not only her complete 180 but also her tone. Her intent was to try to diminish me for some reason. I am used to people being threatened by me so I know how they behave. She wanted to hire me, but she also wanted to be sure she could control me. So she tested me to see if I was desperate enough to not only tolerate her rudeness, but do an unpaid complete rewrite with no promise of a job position. I am not. So I told them I would not do anymore unpaid writing for them and they should find someone else, because they completely wasted my time.

I didn’t hear anything for like 3 days, so I thought it was over. I was pissed that I had wasted so much time on the treatment but I have learned that you can’t cure assholes, so I pick and choose my battles. AND THEN, THIS ARRIVES:

——– Original Message ——–
Subject: Re: Your assignment
From: “SHARON GUL”
Date: Sun, January 14, 2018 10:01 pm
To: “1234Films”

​we read your email and was very sorry you have to feel that way.

I was thinking a lot of to reply to your annoying mail or not , and finally
decided to do so.
During the interview
​as with all other candidates , Yumiko asked
​you ​very clearly No more than 3 pages.
And I was there !
We have more than 65 candidates and cannot read 10 pages from each one​.

It might be only miss understanding ,
​however your poor communication skill definitely closed any door with us.
You were definitely not the best candidate out of all , but for sure
​the rudest.

Surprisingly all the other GOOD candidates understood exactly what Yumiko
asked for and DELIVERED!
​TV writing is nothing but team work ,you might be a talented writer , but
i’m glad we found out that your personality might not be cut out for it
before we waste your time.

About wasting your time – it is very common in the world nowadays (well at
least at those advanced places that I know of ) to conduct few interviews
with the good candidates , and give them assignments to test their
abilities in different areas​, but obviously it is not good enough for you.​

We will go forward with our plans and projects and will do very well with
the people we gathered!

can you say the same about yourself ?
Maybe something is wrong with you and not with all the world out there ?
Think about it , I’m sure you will have plenty of time now to do so.
​wish you the best for your future endeavors .

sharon.

Ohhhkaayyy. So you have 65 candidates, yet you stew over my email for days, then write me an entire essay, to tell me that you’re not interested and you have other people who are better? If that is the case, shouldn’t you be talking to them right now? It’s so strange when people do the whole “I just wanted to take time out to let you know that I don’t have time for you.” Like, do they not know how stupid they look? Besides that, in the interview, she very clearly said it’s generally 3-5 pages but don’t worry about format or if it’s more, she just wants a good story. So they were doubling down on the lie that they gave me different directions. Also, if I was not the best candidate, then why ask me to submit? And then resubmit? Isn’t it normal business practice to interview and ask for submissions from the best candidates? Why waste time with people you think will be shit at the job? And once again IF YOU HAVE A ZILLION OTHER CANDIDATES WHO ARE AMAZING AND GAVE YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT, WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME RIGHT NOW?!

The entire message was one ridiculous, delusional White Male Ego™ filled shart, but the thing that pushed me over was the line “About wasting your time – it is very common in the world nowadays (well at least at those advanced places that I know of)” Listen, I know racist passive aggression like the back of my hand, racist White people are like glass to me. I can see through that shit a mile away. So since it is obvious what I was dealing with and I really don’t have time to feign politeness to racist dipshits, I sent him a frank and succinct response:

Subject: RE: Re: Your assignment
From: “1234Films”
Date: Mon, Jan 15, 2018 10:02 am
To: “SHARON GUL”

lol fuck you both, you lying, manipulative disrespectful assholes. Thank god I didn’t get stuck working with you primitives. Good riddance.

I deliberately used the word primitives because I know his racist ass was taking jabs at my African-ness and throwing it back at him would make his White Male Ego™ loosen the reigns and his racist tongue would get wagging. I hate when they try to hide shit. You got some racist shit to say to me? Fucking say it. Oh boy, did he (I bolded his “best of”):

Subject: Re: Re: Your assignment
From: SHARON GUL
Date: Mon, Jan 15, 2018 10:08 pm
To: 1234Films

Wow , what a class , what a language.

actually, i think you should switch to comedy , maybe your talent is there .

To hear those words from someone whom name sounds more like a disease rather than a human , it’s kinda funny.😆

assholes ? it’s kinda funny too , when it comes from you , it’s not me ,but president trump called the place you come from a shit hole , now it makes much more sense.😆
Primitives ?? You are sitting for an interview with huge stupid headphones on your head , looking like a scene from the 30’s , but we are the primitives ?😆
Primitives ?? Having an internet connection connected by strings and cans , not allowing even 1 clear sentence , and we are the primitives ?
😆
Manipulative ? Liars? To hear that from someone who live in a place which the main export industry to the world is online frauds , that’s funny 😆.

and yes ! we did plan to pay you ! we are running a business and a successful one , and in our enlightened world ,people are getting paid, but reading your mails , i must say that
the only payment you deserve is by (a certain ) fruit. (Note: I don’t really get this insult tbh)

You might be the coolest writer in the tribe , but not more than that .no wonder you are where you are at the age of 35.

Hallelujaaaaaaah

Soooo. That’s what happens to an African woman when you submit a script and the company doesn’t like it. I don’t get rejected, I don’t get ignored, I get whatever that just was. It doesn’t even make sense. My name sounds like a disease? Your last name is Gul. I’m supposed to be insulted by what Trump thinks of my country? Maybe both you and he should go grab another pussy. Seems to be a rich White male pastime, after all. Mocking my headphones? I had on studio headphones for mixing because I mix. In studios. They tend to be big. And I was talking to him over 4g internet like most of fucking Lagos, Nigeria. And about the scam thing? Maybe he should have watched this: Nigerian Prince Scammer is a White Guy . Also, Nigeria’s largest export is not, in fact, scamming, but crude oil and other mineral oils, without which your racist, exploitative, resource-thieving ass countries couldn’t even function. You’re welcome. By the way, about that age jab? He’s bald as fuck and looks to be about 20 years older than me so … Yumiko Aoyagi is at least a decade older than me too. And neither of them have even half my talent. Just putting that out there.

I am sick of this racist, anti-African shit at every turn. I’m tired of it. I will not accept it and I will put every fucking racist on blast. Fuck all of you. Yumiko Aoyagi is responsible for writing the Japanese version of Orphan Black which is currently airing. If these are the types of people the BBC and Fuji TV like to work with, then it should be known. I don’t care if you don’t want to give me jobs because I stand up for myself and don’t eat shit. Like your racist ass was going to hire me anyway? Fame and money are not worth this shit for me. I know I’m talented and I will continue to do what I love, but I’ll be damned if I won’t let out a fuck you to anyone who tries to disrespect me as a woman, a Black person or an African.

I just had to get this off my chest. Reading his fucking email made me want to puke. I hope this blog is connected with their names in google searches forever.

ETA: Kieron Cashell, of GPlusMedia/Gaijin Pot, the site where I found the ad, actually told me that these emails were not racist, but just “bad business etiquette” and did not violate Gaijin Pot’s terms of service, therefore he would do nothing. Just another racist to add to the pile, but it should be known that he and GPlusMedia/Gaijin Pot are anti-African and anti-Black and condone racist harassment. The BBC were also made aware of the emails and still continue to work with Yumiko Aoyagi and also called me a “reverse racist” to boot. This is how people behave when they believe that as an African woman, you have no voice or power. It’s ok. I will be heard. You can’t see that, but I do. And your true nature will be known.

Lineup Segregation? Really? That’s a thing?

So what is it with bookers in this city booking bands by color rather than musical style? That’s really never happened to me before but since my return, that’s all that’s happened and I really want to know why the rock bookers in this city actually think that is even remotely acceptable. If you listened to my music and saw a picture of a white woman on my websites and in my videos you wouldn’t put me on a hip hop night or an r&b night or a night with all Black or Asian bands playing some form of hip hop, r&b or electronic music. But that’s all I get. There is this one booker who was like “I’ll get you a show and I have the perfect band for you to play with.” I listened to their music and it was really nothing like mine but, oh, they were Black women. I guess in her eyes that made us “perfect” to play together. Because I know every band with White guys in it is perfect to play together regardless of the actual style of music that they make.

What is your problem, White bookers? Are you really that myopic that as soon as you see someone isn’t White, you scour your backlog of bands to find the brownest people for them to play with? Are you dumbasses? Why is that a thing? The rock scene in this city really is the absolute worst. I don’t think I will even be playing here anymore. I make more money in the subways and I don’t have to put up with the disrespect of these lame bookers who expect you to kiss their ass just to get a gig. No, I am not going to explain to you how many people I can draw on a Sunday night at 2am go fuck yourself. I’m not playing that game. Not with my music at this point in my career. Anyway it’s not like the rock venues in this city will even book me. Cameo, Trash, Cake Shop…they only want “connected” bands that won’t upset their White hipster sensibilities. Can’t get drunk on PBR and give BJs in the bathroom when some Black chick is on stage talking about her minority issues.

I think White bookers don’t know what to do. There are more and more rock bands with people of color in them and more and more of us don’t feel the need to censor ourselves and keep things “safe and non threatening” for White audiences. I feel like the inane phenomenon of booking bands by race is a bit like insurance, so if any acts start, Idunno, burning White people in effigy like all of us crazed PoC militants tend to do at our shows, they can be sure the audience won’t mind, but they can also keep the White band’s audiences lily white. Because most White bands and acts don’t have diverse audiences. Certain do but most don’t. Booking PoC bands with White bands would change that. It would also expose PoC bands to press and a wider audience and god knows that can never happen. What would the community think?!

I’m tired of being marginalized in every fucking arena. When I have put together a night of Black bands, it is with the expressed interest of giving Black bands a stage and an audience to do what we like on our own terms and to be in the center of things; not in the periphery. These bookers are doing the opposite. It’s lazy and offensive. Me defining myself as a Black artist is different than you doing it for me and deciding what that should entail, including who I should play with, when and where. The latter is limiting. The former is not.

I’d really like for there to be a Black run or at least PoC run arts venue, by PoC that are not crazy from being ravaged by internalized racism and just want to showcase art by PoC who really couldn’t give a flying shit about White people liking them or “crossing over”. Who gives a fuck about “crossing over”? What, am I making art or visiting the afterlife? It should have an emphasis on booking PoC bands that make music outside of R&B and hip hop. It’s like you have to have some element of those genres in your music for people to even look at you. Like if there is something, anything about you that is unfamiliar to them, you are not worth touching. That is bullshit. I’m tired of the disrespect and the marginalization and the having to behave like a panting housepet to get a fucking gig. It’s absurd. Especially when all these venues are smack dab in the middle of Black and Latino neighborhoods. Ironic, isn’t it? There was one venue where the website was all about “creating” with the “community” and there were all these smiling, happy Negroes and Latinos. I wrote and it was bullshit. Turns out I could play a gig there. If I shelled out about 500 bucks for the space. One other Black run venue in Clinton Hill actually asked me of upwards of 1000 to play. And wanted me to provide security. Why would I need to pay for security? I’ll let you simmer on that one for a bit.

In short, everyone is an idiot. Good day.

This is insane. And I am enraged.

Angry. Angry. That word. Am I supposed to fear it? That word is always thrown at me at opportune moments. I have detected, over the years, a pattern. When I behave in a way that you don’t expect. When I stand up for myself. When you are threatened by the fact that when you look at me, you don’t feel dominant or superior, you call me “angry”. But you don’t say it with fear. Not fear for your safety, at least. It leaves your lips with a “hisssss”. Then you sit back, satisfied. As though you have accomplished something. You are contented. Why?

When you are at the bottom of the sexual, racial and ethnic Western social hierarchy, as I am, you learn very quickly that EVERYONE depends on your staying at the bottom. It’s like a sick cheerleaders pyramid. When the ones kneeling on the bottom, with everyone’s weight on their backs, decide to stand up, what happens to the ones above them? Exactly.

It’s quite depressing to know that 90% of the people in the society in which you live depend on you feeling ashamed, inadequate, ugly, stupid and inept in order for them to feel confident and strong. To know that strangers have a vested interest in your failure … It just makes them feel good to think that at the end of the day, you’ve still amounted to nothing. That is my life. Fielding attacks for not being worthless. Being in a near constant state of defensiveness because I am not stupid or ugly or inept and refuse to pretend to be for others who aim to elevate themselves by standing upon my back.

I am Black. I am a woman. I am an African. AND YOU ARE NOT SUPERIOR TO ME. Why does that make you mad? Why does that make you want to attack? Why are you so fucked up and insane?

I started a new job and there is a young Black guy I work with. Black American men almost invariably react towards me in the same way. They are ALL suspicious of me and about 80% outright hostile on sight, making inane assumptions about my class and personality before I even open my mouth. I’m sure he did all of these things but fortunately was one of the 20% that was not hostile but friendly and conversational. That is until I was speaking to him and used the word “recalcitrant”. He made a joking comment about it being a “big word”, then let it go. Or so I thought, because within literally 45 SECONDS out of NOWHERE he made some flippant comment about something I said being “White people shit”. Now, I am used to this, but I am not in middle school or high school anymore and I have literally not had a Black person accuse me of “acting white” in over 10 years. I am a grown ass woman. I just refuse to deal with that garbage at this point in my life. So I just shut it down by saying “Well I am a Black person so I don’t even know what that means.” and left it at that.

This country is a fucking bitch.  Being talented and intelligent works against you if you are a Black woman. If you don’t have to deal with ignorant, inferiority complex having Black people who are on this “Blackpeepo d’on’ reed! Blackpeepo dondoodis! Lookatchu, uthinkuhighclass!” , etc. – Btw, why do so many Black people in this country believe that to be “authentically Black” means to be illiterate and lack the ability to speak your native language correctly? Because last time I checked, Black people were the only people in history who were threatened with torture and death if they learned how to read and write AND RISKED DEATH AND TAUGHT THEMSELVES HOW TO DO IT ANYWAY AND OPENED UP THEIR OWN SCHOOLS SO THEY COULD BE EDUCATED AND GRADUATED COLLEGE AND BECAME POETS AND DOCTORS AND LAWYERS BEFORE SLAVERY WAS EVEN OFFICIALLY ABOLISHED IN 1865 BUT MAYBE THAT NEVER HAPPENED OH OK MY BAD PLEASE PROCEED IN MISPRONOUNCING YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

What a sista gotta to to operate with some standards in this country? CAN I EVEN FUCKING HAVE STANDARDS? IS THAT OK, FUCKWADS?

So as if dealing with crazy internalized white supremacist Black people isn’t enough, I have to deal with White supremacist white people as well. My generation has a new kind of White person to contend with, in addition to the old. They won’t openly hate you like their parents and grandparents. They smile at you and voted for Obama. They are the new breed of “OH BLACK PEOPLE I LIKE THOSE THEY HAVE COOL HAIR THEY ARE FINE AS LONG AS THEY ARE CLEAN AND USE FUNNY CATCHPHRASES AND DON’T KNOW THINGS THAT I DON’T KNOW AND CAN’T DO THINGS THAT I CAN’T DO AND BEHAVE AND DRESS EXACTLY THE WAY I SAY THEY SHOULD AND HAVE NO BOUNDARIES AND ALLOW ME TO TREAT THEM HOWEVER I CHOOSE AND OH YEAH I SHOULD ALSO HAVE FREE REIGN TO FUCK THEM AT WILL YEAH THOSE BLACKS ARE FINE WITH ME!”

So I am stuck in this No Woman’s Land between “Real Black people cain’t do shit” Black people who believe the White Supremacist hype and actually think their Blackness is a hindrance  and White people who are so racist yet try to pretend that they are not and have this unspoken “Stay in your place and we’re fine with you” reaction and both options are so gross to me and I decided in 2000 that I would not hang out with self hating indie negroes anymore because even though we have similar artistic tastes, lbr, that shit is just depressing and I refuse to be stuck in a room full of insecure Black people talking about how other Black people suck and White people are so much better while passing around photographs of their disrespectful and unattractive White bfs/gfs as though that’s “a step up” or something- Btw, if you are going to be a self hating poc and say “I only date White guys/gals, I hate [insert your own people here].” , can you please rescue a tenth of a degree of decency and at least date White people that are hot and awesome? PoC like that usually date seemingly just the worst, most bargain basement White people you can find. I would love for once to meet some Black person who is like “I only date White people, oh, btw, here comes my White s.o. now!” and out walks- no floats– this, like Goddess/Adonis with wit, intelligence, class and style and treats you like royalty and has, like, super bitchin’ hair, or something. Then I could be like, “Oh ok, point taken, good luck, enjoy smashing that, etc.” But it’s never like that. It’s always some gross ugly coked-up moronic douche/douchess. I’m like, “Oh ok thanks for that c u.”

I am ANGRY. I am angry that I am capable of so much but in one of the largest cities in the world, I feel like I have no options. No people. I have no people. Most people are cowards and the ones who have the fire and the passion are usually consumed and destroyed by it so they are not even of use to themselves let alone me. What use could I have for someone? Hm. It would be nice to exchange ideas with someone who is as unafraid as I am. Who makes up their own mind. Who doesn’t sit back and watch when they see someone unique and valuable; someone who is the first one there with an outstreched hand. Hello. Who are you? What do you think about all this shit and how quick can we take a couple sticks of dynamite to it?

Hello. What do you think?

What do you hate?

What do you love?

Can you love? More than you can hate? Do you?

Are you a coward or are you brave? Do you know the difference between being brave and being fearless? Which one are you?

Are you the same person at all times? Are you different people? Do you take responsibility for all of them? Do you know that if you don’t, you’re a coward?

What’s the point if you won’t come up with one?

I would love to meet someone as angry and passionate as I am. Someone who knows it’s their place to be so.

I have to get the fuck out of this town. Maybe you are afraid because you know I could rip you apart from the inside. I probably could. I know this. But who’s to say I will? Unless you expect to treat me in such a way that would earn such retribution. If that’s the case, then, yes, it would be in your best interest to stay away.

I’ve got an atom bomb in my head and in my chest. I have power. I am Black. I am a woman. I am an African. And I have power.

Why does that scare you? Oh yeah. The whole “bottom of the pyramid” thing. Gotcha.

The most surefire way to find yourself surrounded by weak people is to deny your own strength. That’s my line. You can have it. I’ve got plenty.

Zoe Saldana is Nina Simone. Um, no.

So, in a world where Adepero Oduye exists, Nina Simone will be played by…Zoe Saldana.

ZOE SALDANA.

ZOOOEEEE SAAAALLLDAAAANAAAAA.

It’s just so blatantly racist. And yes, I know Saldana is Black. And no, I am not one of those ridiculous Black people who administers “Black exams” to judge who’s “Black enough” and who isn’t. God knows I’ve met enough assholes who try to do that shit to me. But it’s obvious that the whole reason she is cast is because she is a Black woman who is attractive in a way that is non-threatening to White people. But more specifically, young White men. If White men between the ages of 18-25 don’t wanna bang you, you are pretty much seen as useless in Hollywood. She has a straight nose, thinner lips, long straightened hair and has starved herself into a bobblehead (sorry, but she has and it’s so sad). And she is often in sexualized roles where she is intimate with White men. This, apparently, is all you need to be fap material for your average White dude. She has apparently joined the ranks of Halle Berry and Beyonce as “Black women it’s ok to openly admit to wanting to bang.” And the fact that these things factor into her being chosen to play NINA SIMONE, of all people, is so offensive I want to spit glass shards.

Nina Simone wasn’t a straight haired, fair-skinned waif. She was repeatedly told all through her youth and career that she was too dark, with too wide a nose and lips to be successful. She wanted to be a classical pianist but was turned down from conservatory because they were racist. Her triumph and success, especially during the civil rights movement was all the more powerful because she wasn’t some passive, light skinned, Europeanized version of a Black woman. Her appearance is so integral to her story because of those things. And to completely erase that aspect of her struggle to appeal to a demographic that most likely doesn’t even give a crap about Nina Simone or what she stood for anyway is disgusting. And it is obvious that the director and producers have absolutely no respect for Ms. Simone or her music and message not only because of the laughably absurd casting but because they didn’t even consult her family/estate at all during the entire process and still have not; even as they are approaching their shooting start date.

Whitewashing is disgusting and Hollywood needs to be called out about it. The only thing more vomit-inducing than their portrayals of women is their portrayals of Women of Color. Black women are not only half White or light skinned. But these are the only kinds of Black women that they feel comfortable casting as romantic interests. And I use “romantic” quite loosely being that these women are only around to be groped, ogled, abused and fucked in roles that are completely passive and gratuitously sexual. But when you don’t need a Black woman for White guys to fuck, like, you just need a Black woman to be angry or fat or addicted to crack or, like, to clean something, then you cast the dark Black women. It’s disgusting and appalling that White executives have the gall to be so blatant about it. But when PoC in Hollywood rarely stand up to challenge it, what do you expect? Textbook bully syndrome, really. You only go after the ones that don’t fight back. That’s pretty much been White culture’s m.o. for a couple thousand years now. You think we would’ve picked up on that at some point.

There is a petition here: http://www.change.org/petitions/jimmy-iovine-cynthia-mort-replace-zoe-saldana-with-an-actress-who-actually-looks-like-nina-simone

I haven’t signed it…on one hand what these filmmakers did is undeniably disgusting but on the other hand I don’t like telling some rich White execs to fire a Black woman but on the other hand Saldana should know better but on the other hand her entire career is based on being the palatable, non-threatening Black woman so I don’t know. This is a huge problem in Hollywood so I thought I would at least address it and then present it to you to make the choice if you feel strongly enough to sign.

This practice has angered me for a long time. I decided I wanted to make films when I was 13 or 14 and consumed them obsessively since then. And from Rosario “I’m a little bit Black but not that Black really hardly any Black in me but oh are you casting a Black role then yeah I’m totally Black!” Dawson in many of her movies but specifically in the Josie and the Pussycats movie (laugh all you want but I loved that cartoon as a kid and Valerie was dark and had an afro and was in a band and even though she only played the goddamned tambourine (wtf) it was awesome and I was SO MAD when she was cast with Dawson and yes I was 19 when that movie came out which made me a grown ass woman but we are not going to address that right now, thank you very much) to Halle Berry as Storm, like, what the fuck. How dare you. HOW DARE YOU, A PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES, etc. My only dream is for the head of Fox to get a damn aneurysm and fall into a coma and then wake up with the mind and personality of a strong and self respecting Black woman so we can finally get a goddamned Storm in a movie that is true to the comics and has all her strength, regality and general African badassery and not all this meek, doe eyed, sexualized bullshit. I mean SHE WENT FROM A THIEVING ORPHAN TO BEING EQUAL TO XAVIER IN POWER AND LEADERSHIP AND LED THE X MEN AFTER BEATING CYCLOPS EVEN WHEN SHE LOST HER POWERS AND BASICALLY TOLD HIM TO GTFO. Ugh. I have so many repressed feelings about that character and how she was massacred. And DON’T even get me started on what they did to Rogue…

Sorry, I got sidetracked and have a lot of nerd feelings (obvs). But yes, the roles available for Black women are atrocious and the way Black women are presented in the film and music industries is atrocious and though I’m sure Halle Berry could very possibly be a lovely woman who went through a lot of shit to get her career, you can’t use that as a reason not to comment on all the racist, damaging fuckery that many of her roles and the roles of many other Black actresses like her help perpetuate. It’s damaging to young Black girls who really feel that they are not worthy of respect. And they grow into Black women who feel the same way. I mean, you should see the way some White people I meet through playing shows and booking my band try and speak to me/treat me. Or even before, when I was working regular shitty jobs in retail or whatever. Or even occasional people who were supposed to be “friends”. It’s like, did you seriously just talk to me like that/do that to me? What planet are you from that you think that’s even vaguely appropriate? And when I say don’t treat me disrespectfully, they look at me like I have 12 heads and pull out the whole “angry, uppity Black woman with a chip on her shoulder” schtick. Like I’m supposed to just stand there and grin while you talk to me like I’m your 3 year old or your fucking dog or some shit. But they act like that because I really don’t think they are used to Black women standing up for themselves. It’s shocking to them. And White culture raises White people to think that Black people who fight back are bad and Black people who are passive are good. Just look at the difference between the way they portray MLK Jr. and Malcolm X. I’ve even heard many crazy White people compare The Black Panthers to the Klan. I mean, seriously?

I am going to make films and just like my music, I will have to do it independently with no outside support because there is no room in either system for PoCs and especially WoC to be who we are and not filtered through lenses of White male supremacy. I mean, where are the movies made for Black people by Black people? Where are my generation’s Robert Townsends and Euzhan Palcys, etc. If the stereotype is your reality, fine. You have a right to that. But I have a right to my reality as well. My experience and perspective as a Black woman is just as valid and authentically Black as yours. But there is no room for varied and complex Black experiences in the industry. So fuck ’em. They are desperate and running out of ideas because they are not the creatives. They are the suits. They need us more than we need them. But Black people and Women don’t seem to understand that. So they just line up and straighten and weave and starve and smile and lighten and strip and shimmy and twerk and hope to be thrown a bone. That is pathetic. And it makes me angry that WoC and especially young Black girls are led to believe that is the only way to get ahead. And things will only change when we start thinking differently about ourselves and start demanding more. Or better yet, picking up our pens, cameras and classical or contemporary monologues and fucking doing it for ourselves like we used to. That will change everything.

Now, off to write…

KONY 2012 is a load of self righteous, racist, misinformed crap.

http://boingboing.net/2012/03/08/african-voices-respond-to-hype.html

This is a GREAT page. And everyone who has spread that “KONY 2012” video and doesn’t spread this with the same urgency is a hypocrite. I am SO TIRED of the western world using the supposedly “sub-human, war torn, famine and AIDS ridden hellhole called Africa” myth to line their own pocketbooks. It is racist tripe and and only helps fuel the collective Oblivious White Western Ego. “Oh look at us! We’re SAVING them. Aren’t we GRAND!” But it never addresses the issue of actually HOW and WHY many of these countries are in the position they are in in the first place. Here’s a hint, it ain’t Kony. Here is one of my favorite quotes from Teju Cole: “From Sachs to Kristof to Invisible Children to TED, the fastest growth industry in the US is the White Savior Industrial Complex,” Cole writes. “The white savior supports brutal policies in the morning, founds charities in the afternoon, and receives awards in the evening.” Until the west finally admits to it’s own hand in the brutality that has taken place on that continent and decide to rectify THAT, they have nothing to say to me or any other African about anything.

How quickly did everyone forget about Bono and the ONE foundation/ Project RED campaign and how it came out that they made about 9.6 million pounds a year and BARELY 1 PERCENT of it went to actual charity. And when questioned they pulled the same Invisible Children “It’s not a charity, it’s just to raise awareness”. Since when do you need millions of dollars to make a viral video? Who knew that 7th grader in Iowa who made a youtube lip sync vid to Katy Perry that got 600,000 views had that big of a budget to work with…

Here is a link to many videos, tweets and blogs from *gasp* ACTUAL AFRICANS (many Ugandan) and the actual truth about the matter that should actually be the focus of this entire propaganda firestorm because…um…the video is actually about an African conflict? So it would make sense to um…maybe talk to some Africans?

And TMS Ruge: “We, Africans, are sandwiched between our historically factual imperfections and well-intentioned, road-to-hell-building-do-gooders. It is a suffocating state of existence. To be properly heard, we must ride the coattails of the self-righteous idiocy train. Even then, we have to fight for our voices to be respected.”

And our voices are not respected. Never have been and certainly aren’t now. So if you want to change something that’s actually within your control, maybe you should start with that.

Dear Morrissey

Dear Morrissey,

I know your busy schedule of scowling at babies and glaring at others whilst exhaling deeply must be incredibly time consuming, but maybe you should take 5 and examine the subhuman atrocities that the English have and continue to commit against the rest of the world through colonialism/imperialism and the same structures of institutionalized racism that have raised you to believe that in your race, nationality and gender, you are superior enough to publicly declare an entire people as less than human. Ironically, for the mistreatment of animals, who happen to be just that.

One of the many ways I differ from you is that in addition to loathing the abuse of animals, I also find it quite loathsome when human beings are enslaved, beaten, shot, raped, beheaded, quartered, stretched, impaled, disemboweled, flayed, boiled in oil, castrated, burned at the stake or whatever unfathomable barbaric treatment to which the English have subjected any humans who dare challenge the omnipotence of the “great” British Empire or any “God” they decided the rest of the world must worship, most often against their will. Or is abuse of power and the brutal extinguishing of a life only unacceptable to you when the perpetrators are not Anglo? Or only when the tortured are not human?

Maybe you should evaluate whether your own “English heart” should qualify as belonging to the human race before you go questioning another’s place as a part of the species. Because if you can judge a people by the actions of those in power over them, you might as well just sashay right alongside the Chinese back into the primordial ooze, for your hands drip with blood just as theirs.

With utter disgust,

Iféoluwa B.

*sigh* Imus…let me spell it out for the fucktards…

So I’ve been watching this circus and it has ended with Imus being terminated “effective immediately”. Good. No one should be paid to be a racist asshole. But there has been one argument I’ve heard over and over: “Well how come white people can’t call black people n—ers and hos and those black rappers can?” So I just have one question for white people: Why do you even want to? Because a black person has done it? And you don’t want to miss out on how fun it is degrading Black people?

Is it really that hard for you to understand? Those women were going about their lives. They were in school, on a sports team, made it to the final 4 and were damn happy about it. And they couldn’t even enjoy it for 30 seconds before some white guy comes around and smacks them “back in their place”. White people don’t understand because to them being an individual is understood and taken for granted. You are responsible for your own actions and you are judged by your own actions. Case in point: I have never met Paris Hilton. I have never met Lindsay Lohan. I have never met Britney Spears. But in the course of a year, I have discovered what all three of their labia look like. I would rather not have that knowledge but I do. And so does most of the world. The most famous young white women right now are, for all intents and purposes, coked up anorexic hos. But has anyone made the connection: white woman= drug addled ho with an eating disorder? No, because that would be silly. Just because Anna Nicole was photographed nude and took drugs and lohan, spears, and Hilton have and a lot of other white women do does not mean they ALL do. Common sense right? Sure, if you’re white. But if you’re not, all of a sudden, you are responsible and should suffer for the actions of those that share your color. So because some rapper who is black had some naked dancing strippers in his video who were black and called them hos, then that means that all black people refer to all black women as hos and we all love it and have no problem with it but just get mad at being called such things to get back at whitey and ruin his fun. Riiight. Are you serious?

Newsflash, black men are MEN who are black. And if you haven’t noticed, men of all colors tend to be fucking arrogant, macho, misogynistic assholes. So they, like a lot of men of all colors, believe that the more women you have sex with and the louder you talk about it, the more of a man you are. So they make a video and say, “oh I want naked dancing girls in it”, call them hos, and wrap for the day. Are they the first men to have naked dancing girls in their videos and have degrading lyrics in their songs about them? White men have never done that? They do the same things that most men in popular music do. Degrade and objectify women. Why bring their race into it? Rap is only about as old as I am. When did it become the sole signifying representation of all black people in the world ever? So before 1979 Black people just sat around staring at each other? We had no identity? These mainstream rappers are just dim-witted, insecure pawns for the racist label heads that make the real money and the suburban white teenagers who buy over 80% of rap records in the United States anyway. And I didn’t make that number up. That is a truthful figure. So why should black women in general suffer for what a few sexist black guys decide to say and do in a video? What the hell does that have to do with me? What did it have to do with those girls? Because some self-hating Black guys sold their soul to make music for young white suburbanites who think that being shot and poor with a 5th grade education is “cool” and “gangsta”, it should be okay to denigrate me? Really? Is that the deal I have going with the rest of the world as a Black woman?

Women of color are reared in a culture of white men who were raised to believe that white women are for dating and marrying and non-white women are for fetishizing and fucking. But only behind closed doors, of course. This is a country where within the previous century it was actually thought that it was impossible for a Black woman to be raped because we were naturally so “highly-sexed”. That is the context in which we are viewing Imus’ words. That is the society we exist within. Imus’ slurs were race specific. In his mind, he saw black women and immediately went “nappy headed ho” and “jigaboo”. But I shouldn’t be offended and he was just kidding? Fuck off. I mean is that what white people want? To be able to say shit like that about other people and have them be so broken down and used to it that we don’t even protest anymore?

When I was a teenager, I used to be a Lenny Bruce fan. Then I saw the movie Lenny. Mostly because of Dustin Hoffman. Who’s fucking incredible. So I was like “hey two awesome people. can’t lose.” I got as far as halfway through the movie before they got to Bruce’s famous N-word routine. Basically, in his warped white male mind, the problem isn’t that the word is so hateful and vile and atrocious and represents the torture and murder of Black people for literally CENTURIES; the problem is that Black people are just too dern SENSITIVE about the whole thing. And the rest of the world helps that by making the word taboo. So basically we should use the word as much as humanly possible to “strip the word of its power” and rid the world of racism. I hated him after that. And I couldn’t watch Dustin Hoffman in anything for a long while. I still to this day have never finished the movie and I have no desire to.

It’s so easy it seems for white people to give non-white people advice about dealing with racism. It’s funny how it’s always our fault for being offended, not yours for being hateful and ignorant. So the cure for racism is not for white people to just stop disrespecting and discriminating, torturing and murdering others for not being white, the cure is for non-white people to just not take offense to it. Okay. So why stop there? Lenny Bruce said that if we use the word incessantly, soon there won’t be some Black kid coming home from school crying because some white kid called him that name. So maybe white people should start using that logic with their kids. If your kid isn’t a good reader and the kids call him stupid, don’t teach him to stand up for himself and not tolerate being mistreated. Just tell his teachers to call him stupid. His siblings. Hell, you can join in. Then after awhile, he’ll become so used to the fact that everyone thinks he’s an idiot that it wont even faze him anymore. The word “stupid” will be *~*~stripped of it’s powers~*~* Same with fatties. Your kid’s a fatty? Well don’t even call him by his name. Try lard-ass. By the time he’s 10, He’ll be filled with pride. And hey, white adults, your husband hit you? Don’t get mad, get the shit beat out of you so often, you don’t even feel it anymore. And hail the end of domestic violence. White guy, your gf shits on you and bangs all your friends? Don’t be so SENSITIVE. Learn to deal. Being royally fucked over is a part of life. Your only defense is to shut up and get used to it. What? Not appealing? Well that’s funny considering it’s so easy for white people to tell non-white people that they should lead such a fucking pathetic existence being the silent butt boys and girls for evil, self-aggrandizing assholes with an inferiority complex coupled with out of control feelings of entitlement.

If you want to be a racist, be a racist. Just don’t expect me to shut up about the fact that I think you’re a pathetic asshole who should rot in hell. And if you work for a multi billion-dollar corporation with sponsors up the wazoo, don’t be a racist on air. Cuz you could get fired. Keep it for after work and office meetings like you usually do. I mean really, let’s cut the crap – if you really believe Imus was fired for being racist rather than for fucking with Les Moonves’ wallet, you are surely deluded. They were under pressure, they lost HUGE sponsors, there were protests, TONS of press…it didn’t look good for CBS’s rep. You don’t get canned for being a racist. If that were true, 99% of the entertainment industry would be out of a job. You get canned for fucking with white people’s money. Imus’ fucked with a big white guy’s cash flow. And he got what was coming to him. Deal.

There are double standards in this world because IT IS AN UNFAIR WORLD. People benefit because they are white and male and rich and people suffer because they are not white and not male and are poor. I don’t mock the homeless with wads of cash, I don’t moonwalk past paralyzed individuals, men should not hit women, and white people should not use the n-word and call innocent black women out of their name. We are not handicapped but this world is not made for us to flourish and feel beautiful and proud. It is made for us to feel ashamed that we were not born looking like you. Why would you want to bask in that? Flaunt that? Be proud and nonchalant and unapologetic about that? White people, you are the only group of people IN THE ENTIRE WORLD who have the “luxury” of being judged by who you are individually. So take advantage of it, stop being whiney hateful bitches and actually accept your responsibility for the things you think, say and feel. It’s not “that Black rapper’s fault” if you choose to be racist and use slurs. IT’S YOURS. So ask yourself, why do I need to say these things? Why do I need it to be okay to say these words and put down these people? If you are white and you really can’t understand why your using racial slurs against others WILL NEVER BE OKAY, then I guess you are just not fit to live in the world with human beings. So just fuck off to a red state, buy a big mac, put on your God hates fags t-shirt and swallow your deer-hunting rifle. And while you’re at it, you can take those mainstream, corporate house slave rappers with you. You deserve each other.

omgwtf

Gwyneth Paltrow has joined The Village People

"Liek omg, I'm, like, totally African see my totally, like African beads and stuff and how like, I totally painted stripes on my face? Like, totally help AIDS, you guys, k? Cheerio!"- G-Po

After flying into a bilious rage I finally squelched my fury long enough to effectively operate a keyboard. This misguided high and mighty Western shit has really GOT TO STOP. I seriously cannot escape. How can I live in a society where that ad is ok? And I read that there are more ads with more people who should know better. David Bowie and Iman for a couple. I heard Seal and Heidi Klum did some too. And some completely random people who are ALL rich and ALL White. I fail to see the point. I fail to see how people can put these things together with a straight face. First Live 8, now this?

I’ve seen people say “how is that offensive?” Well, you should know that you are incredibly ignorant or just brainwashed. Why doesn’t she do an “I AM ITALIAN” ad with her hair slicked back while eating a bowl of spaghetti in order to put an end to gun violence and organized crime? Or maybe her English husband should do an “I AM IRISH” ad shitfaced drunk holding a potato to stop IRA bombings? I mean how many offensive, groundless images and stereotypes can you pack into one ad? And the person they chose…the WASP-iest American you could ever fathom. To say what? “Oh I know you didn’t care before about Africa what with it being a bunch of naked Blacks with their drums and big lips but lookit, what if it were ME? I mean yeah they wear beads and turquoise lines on their faces but srsly they’re like, totally like us.” Ooh, profound. Btw, can someone tell me what the hell “African” that is supposed to represent? I mean everyone knows most African countries’ eye stripes are a glittery magenta…If you have to imagine someone is rich pretty and white in order to give a shit about whether they live or die…well you are truly one fucked up individual. And one ad with a pretentious, sheltered starlet who is completely detached from reality isn’t going to change that.

And now, my open letter to G-Piddy:

Dear Gwynnie,

I just saw your horrific ad and I wanted to make some clear points to you that I’m sure you will treasure and take to heart.

1- Dressing up like a member of The Village People does not make you an African. Oh, and we do, sometimes, wear shirts.

2- AIDS DOES NOT EQUAL AFRICA. Last time I checked, the country with the most AIDS cases was India. But maybe you were still in hair and makeup and missed that little fact.

3-AFRICA DOES NOT EQUAL POOR. Gold. Oil. Sugar. Vanilla. Diamonds. Silver. Rubber. Basically every profitable natural resource utilized by the Western world comes out of that continent. Which explains why there is such a vested interest in it. If Africa was so poor, disease ridden and horrible, why are there so many white people slitting the throats of Black people to live there? And profit off of it? Money makes the world go ’round. Pharmaceutical companies make drugs. They need people to buy those drugs. When people buy those drugs, they make money. If nobody buys the drugs, some very rich evil people become quite perturbed. Maybe the caption should have just read, “There are not enough people to push all these drugs on in America so why don’t we just dump them on Africans. I mean, what are they gonna do about it? We get paid, they aid our research, we look like philanthropists, they drop dead.” Seems to be a familiar refrain. It’s basically a modern day Tuskegee. Way to do your research before you put your face on something! Whoo hoo!

4-Sheltered people who spend their entire lives in Hollywood living existences experienced by about .1 percent of the human population should quite often sit down and shut the fuck up.

And most importantly, 5- If you want to “help Africans”, start treating them like actual people and not just photo opps, ad campaigns and charity cases. If someone trips, you don’t call a camera crew before you help them up.

Hearts and Third World Kisses,
Iféoluwa

Oh and if any of you reading this want to help an African, I accept money orders and Paypal, kthx…